2013.06.11 Thrillist
Contrary to popular fantasy, nudist resorts don’t exist so you can chase hot women around the pool all day; that’s why there's a Playboy Mansion you'll never get invited to. These seemingly liberal locales often run a tight ship when it comes to proper etiquette, so before you go balls to the wall, make sure you know all the rules.
The Basics
While individual resorts lay out their own guidelines, there's fundamental nudist "know-how" you should have down pat. If you do nothing else during your stay, abide by these four rules -- in part so you don’t look like a total amateur, but mainly because the disappointing glares you’ll receive cut even deeper when you’re standing there completely naked.
1. Always keep a towel on hand
In a valiant effort to maintain certain sanitation standards, you're required to sit on a towel in any common area. Phrased another way: No bare asses on the bar stools. Got it?
2. No gawking
Don’t be that creepy guy in the corner. Just don’t. Be the creepy guy lurking poolside… just kidding. FYI, nudists can tell you're still staring at them behind those mirrored aviators. You're not fooling anybody.
3. Never photograph anyone without permission
Many nudists are camera-shy. Probably due to the fact that most of them shouldn't be nude outside their own rooms (yes, we understand, they're proud of their bodies, and America is such a prudishly repressed society blah blah blah) but unfortunately, this means your Nashville filter won’t get any play this vacay.
4. Explicit sexual behavior is not permitted
At all. You were warned; this isn’t Hef’s house in the '70s. Leave coitus to the privacy of your room, and don’t change the mood in the communal hot tub.
